A Wish

I wish I could rewind
Blow the dust from the cassette
And listen to you play the blues
On the piano that gathers heaps of the stuff in my living room now

I’d put my finger in the reel
And turn it back
Not to the beginning but to the middle
To the best bit
Where the bridge is
And the harmonies collide
In beauty and in chaos

I wish I could go back
So I could join you on the Pennine Way
Instead of dwelling in my room over some discord
Hold your hand without it shaking
Knowing it will lift me
Over tors and mires

Lately, I’ve found myself wishing
That you still lived in the big house
With the three bedrooms
And the bathroom with the Hockney postcard
Tucked between the wall and the arch-shaped mirror above the sink
For the piano to be back in the music room
Where the sound bounces off the mottled glass
Then floats through the double doors and out into the garden

I’ve found myself wishing I could visit
And be looked after
Spend the night in my old bed
Enfolded in lost rhythms
And wake to the crash of you unloading the dishwasher
Shout-singing along to some too-loud number
I was too young to appreciate at the time

But I can’t wish you well
Impede the dull impending ral
Touching the keys steadies the hand
So let’s hear it, one more time, from the bridge